I can hardly believe that I’m in the third trimester already! At the same time though, it feels like I’ve been pregnant for years. It’s amazing how different the second pregnancy is from the first. With Jonas, I was so on top of getting the nursery ready, getting all of his clothes organized, and nesting in general. With this pregnancy, I’m literally just starting to work on the nursery… oops. I planned to start after I hit 20 weeks but chasing around a toddler all day has me absolutely exhausted. The second I hit the third trimester, it felt like all the energy drained from my body. I think it’s a combination of being a toddler mom and the summer heat/busyness of summer. I also feel like I have more aches and pains than I did with my first pregnancy but such is life as a preggo and I don’t intend to use this blog post to complain (I will say though that I’m not the girl that loves being pregnant haha). I want to share about some pregnancy related things that have been going on the past couple of weeks since well… I use this blog to share about what’s going on in my life. So here goes…
At my 28 week appointment, I was measuring a bit on the small side so my doctor had me schedule a growth ultrasound for the following week just to make sure baby is growing okay. Leading up to the ultrasound, I wasn’t feeling too worried about it which is a miracle in and of itself because I might be the most anxious person I know. I told my doctor that Jonas was a tiny baby and since I’m a smaller person, she said she wasn’t too concerned about it.
Fast forward to this past Friday, the day of the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech did her thing and then gave me the stats. She said that baby’s weight was in the 12th percentile and that if he gets below the 10th, they would need to do a doppler on the umbilical cord to make sure he isn’t under any stress. That really freaked me out. I wanted to ask a ton of questions and talk to my doctor but unfortunately, my doctor appointment to follow up on the ultrasound wasn’t until Monday. Ultrasound techs legally cannot give more information or interpret the ultrasound, so I left the office with tears streaming down my face and a pit in my stomach. I had no clue what to think. Was there something wrong with him or was he okay?
I immediately shared what I had learned with my husband, family and friends and wow, the Lord really put my mind at ease and spoke through these special people in my life. I felt encouraged even though in the back of my mind I thought there was still a possibility that something could be wrong. I was amazed at how many people knew of other people that had gone through this and ended up birthing perfectly healthy babies. All that my husband and I could do at this point was pray and wait out the weekend until Monday.
On Monday we met with my doctor and she immediately said “your baby looks beautiful!”. Exactly what my anxious heart needed to hear. She said she wasn’t concerned because Jonas was small but that we will do another growth ultrasound at 36 weeks just to check on his growth. Whew, what a relief! God is good and I felt so calm and at peace after talking to her (and kind of dumb to be honest for being so anxious about this).
So, why do I share this? This situation made me realize how unpredictable pregnancy can be. It’s so hard because I feel like I don’t have control over my body and what’s happening (which is true – I don’t). How can I feel peace about my baby’s development without trusting the Lord? That’s all I can do. Going forward, I’m making every effort to live this out and believe it with all my heart. God is in control. Not me. Over the weekend when I wasn’t sure if there was something wrong, I came to the realization that I try to have too much control over things sometimes and that this is a situation where me having control is absolutely not possible. While praying I repeatedly said “God, it’s in your hands and we trust you.” While this is common sense to a believer, I can tell you that I’ve been a believer since I was five years old and this is still something I need to be reminded of. So whatever you may be going through, I challenge you to let go. Stop trying to control the situation. Put it in God’s hands and you’ll experience an indescribable peace that comes from Him and Him alone. One of my dear friends reminded me of one of my favorite verses that I’m holding onto tight throughout the rest of this pregnancy. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6. God is so good and we can’t wait to meet this baby in September!