Mama Heart to Hearts

Sharing my experiences and thoughts as I live the stay at home mom life!

12 Week Bump Update

Immediately after taking a pregnancy test and seeing those two lines, i had two thoughts race to my mind.  First, I’M SO EXCITED!!  I couldn’t wait to tell people that our dream of growing our family was coming true!  My second thought was, I hope this pregnancy I’m not sick like I was with Jonas.  About a week and a half later (around 5 1/2 weeks pregnant), my answer became clear when the morning sickness hit full force.

Since being 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, I pretty much have constantly been nauseous.  Up until I was 10 1/2 weeks pregnant, I was throwing up everyday. When I was pregnant with Jonas, I was working full time and with this pregnancy, I’m a stay at home mom. I’m not quite sure which is worse when all you can think about is puking.  Taking care of a busy toddler through this has been really difficult for several reasons.  Jonas was used to me constantly  taking him to do things and playing with him.  All of the sudden, I was laying on the couch and not nearly as interactive.  He could tell that something was wrong and with the cold weather and all the snow, he became stir crazy.  He would literally try pulling me down off the couch while whining “mommy” for me to play with him constantly.

I felt like the worst mom in the world and it completely broke my heart.  I felt like I was barely able to take care of him and meanwhile, he pretty much preferred anyone and everyone to me because well…. mom was no longer fun.  Basically my goal everyday was to keep him fed (there is nothing worse than being around food when you’re nauseous) and making sure he had clean diapers.  Beyond that, all rules went out the window.  We were in survival mode which basically meant a lot of screen time.

Does anyone else out there feel like every smell when pregnant is a terrible smell? I knew I was starting to experience morning sickness when the smell of our plug in air fresheners started to really bother me. My current smell struggles are laundry detergent, body wash/shampoo, and the fridge/any food being cooked. Don’t get me started on poopy diapers… oh man. I’ve learned the art of not breathing.

Something that’s always been hard for me is asking for help, but I quickly realized I needed it.  It feels so vulnerable to say “hey, I know I’m a stay at home mom and I only have one child to take care of, but I’m barely hanging on.”  I’m so glad I let go of my pride and let people help because it absolutely was needed.  When we had play dates, my friends would make lunch for my son and play with him while I would lay on the couch.  It was enough to make me cry tears of thankfulness.  My mom started watching him one day a week while going through this to give me a day to just relax (aka be nauseous and puke in peace).  My brother in law who is in town while looking for a job came over multiple times to play with Jonas and entertain him.  My soon to be sister in law did this too.  When my mom and dad in law were in town (snow birds), they would help out too.  I can’t explain how grateful I was and continue to be for this help.  God truly kept our family afloat during this time with our incredible village.

The real MVP here that stepped up without ever complaining was my husband.  He went from coming home from work to a meal on the table, clean house, and happy kid to no meal (or groceries), a disaster of a house, and a kid desperate for attention.  He has been absolutely incredible and i am so so SO thankful for everything he does.

I don’t want this blog post to come across as a complaining session about how difficult this pregnancy has been, but I also want to be honest. Honestly, it’s been a rough ride, but I’m hopeful that things are starting to get better.  I’m starting to have some good days mixed in with the bad and I’m eating things besides bread and saltines.  I’m feeling encouraged by these small milestones!  Since I’ve been so focused on feeling gross all the time, i haven’t spent anytime preparing for this precious new bundle.  I’m so excited to start dreaming about names, nursery ideas, what he/she will be like, and enjoying the time i have with just Jonas before the baby comes.  God is good and despite how hard this has been, my heart couldn’t feel any more grateful.

 

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10 Comments

  1. Brianna Pealer

    Thank you for sharing this Steph I honestly know EXACTLY how you feel. God truly knew the husbands we would NEED to help us through these hard times. Pregnancy is no joke and pregnancy with another kid is SO difficult when you are someone who experiences harsh symptoms. Thank you for being vulnerable to share this because this is how I have been feeling lately to a T and it is super super tough to get through!

    • Stephanie

      It’s so nice and refreshing to know that we aren’t alone in this!! I 100% agree with you… God for sure hand picked the men we would need to get us through! Thank you for reading and I hope that you feel better so soon!

  2. Sue Nelson

    Steph, I was so so sick with all 3 of mine! Smells of food were my trigger for multiple barf sessions a day! Including trips through drive thru’s. I always had barf bags in the car! I’m sorry you are going through this, but as you know, in the end, those little bundles of joy are worth it! Hang in there!

    • Stephanie

      Thank you so much for sharing! It’s so nice to know that we aren’t alone in experiencing the hardships of pregnancy! Haha I definitely have barf bags in my car too 😂. Thank you for the encouragement. You are so right… it’s completely worth it in the end!

  3. I so understand this! It is SO hard wirh a toddler! Easton was 13 months when I found out I was pregnant with Boone. It felt worse than it did when I was working a full time job and pregnant because I felt like I was letting him down. I am praying you feel better soon and can really enjoy life more. You need some fresh air and sunshine! So happy for you girl.

    • Stephanie

      Thank you so much for sharing, Sarah! I feel the exact same way with Jonas… like I’m letting him down. I’m holding on to the fact that it’s temporary!! Thank you for your kind words ❤️

  4. Yesenia

    Oh no steph, I’m so sorry! But I also can relate to so much of this! I was extremely sick when I was pregnant with Ryan. For me, the sicknesses lasted all 9 months and I had to take medication to help it! I felt terrible for Noah but his amazing dad and our amazing village definitely stepped up! I hope you start feeling better asap!

    • Stephanie

      Thank you for sharing your experience!! It’s so nice to know I’m not alone. You are absolutely right… we need our villages!! Oh my goodness, girl… I can’t imagine having these symptoms for NINE months! You are super mom!

  5. Hallie

    You. Are. Wonder. Woman. You are always so beautifully honest, and it’s perhaps my favorite thing about you, Steph. Still praying for you and babe. Hang in there!

    • Stephanie

      I love you so much, sweet Hallie. Thank you for being so caring and kind to me throughout this experience. It means THE WORLD to me. Don’t know what I would do without you!

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