Mama Heart to Hearts

Sharing my experiences and thoughts as I live the stay at home mom life!

Fighting Against the Comparison Game

Do you ever finding yourself scrolling through social media and it seems like every photo is of the perfect child?

  • The baby wearing a head to toe complete name brand outfit (meanwhile, your child is wearing hand me downs covered it stains)
  • The toddler quietly reading a book (meanwhile, your child is destroying the house)
  • The child sitting in the highchair voluntarily eating peas (meanwhile, your child is eating cookie #2 for the day)

Or perhaps it’s the captions that stick out to you:

  • My child just turned one and can say ten words
  • My little one started walking at eight months
  • My baby is the happiest baby I’ve ever met

Here you sit reading all of this and the negative thoughts begin to consume your mind.  Why doesn’t my child do that?  Am I doing something wrong?  Is my little one behind?  It’s EXHAUSTING.  It’s unproductive.  It’s disheartening.  So how do we as moms fight against this?

Playing the comparison game has always been one of my greatest struggles since becoming a mom.  I’m constantly seeking ways to fight against it and have found some effective strategies to snap me out of the negative thought pattern!

  • Take a break from social media
    • When I’m not looking at pictures and captions that trigger the negative thoughts, they seem to go away!  Sometimes doing a social media fast is just want I need to quit comparing
  • Social media is not reality
    • On social media, we see the good.  We don’t see the fight with the husband, the blowout that covered not only the child but you as well, or the tantrum that happened in the middle of Target.  We need to remember that social media is not always reality!
  • Honesty and vulnerability
    • When I first became a mom, I didn’t want to admit that my baby wasn’t perfect.  I wanted people to think he’s always happy and never fussy (yeah…. about that…).  You know what I quickly came to realize?  When I was honest about the struggles I was facing related to Jonas and motherhood, other people were too!  I wasn’t alone.  When you realize other mom’s don’t have perfect children (seriously, they don’t!), it takes the pressure off you to display perfection.
  • Embrace the thorns
    • At MOPs this week, one of the mentor moms spoke about how we need to accept our children as they really are – roses and thorns too!  Through embracing the thorns, we truly can begin to understand Christ’s unconditional love for us.  Yes, that one baby you come across may have started walking 6 months before your child, but your child has a belly laugh that is to die for!  If you spend less time focusing on the thorns, you can appreciate the beautiful flower that’s right in front of you.

How do you fight against playing the comparison game?

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1 Comment

  1. What a great post, Steph! Thanks for sharing your heart and giving us all a great reminder in this 21st century world in which we’re surrounded by possible comparisons all the time. I will definitely come back to this when the comparison game creeps up on me!

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