Mama Heart to Hearts

Sharing my experiences and thoughts as I live the stay at home mom life!

Newborn Etiquette

There is literally nothing better in the world than when a friend/family member has a new baby.  The moment you receive news of that precious bundle’s arrival, you CAN’T WAIT to get your hands on him/her.  All you can think about is that sweet newborn smell and baby toes (seriously… there is nothing cuter).  It can be so easy to overwhelm that person with calls, texts, and THE question that every newborn mama gets ten times a day: “when can I meet the little one?!”  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being excited, but I believe I speak on behalf of all moms with a newborn when I say that it can be overwhelming.  After having Jonas, I realized there were several things people did that were super helpful and deeply appreciated.   The following is a list you can use the next time someone in your life has a new baby!

  • Set up a meal trainAs a new mom, this was one of the most helpful things for me. Those first few weeks are complete survival mode and the last thing on my mind was making a meal (I mean come on… it was a good day if I managed to brush my teeth!).  Around a month before mama is due, offer to set up a meal train!  I use mealtrain.com and have found that it’s super easy to use and organize.  Just collect email addresses, meal preferences, and dates for when meals can be delivered before setting up.
  • Piggybacking off the previous bullet point, make them a mealI like to do casseroles in disposable pans so all the mama has to do is bake it in the oven. That way it’s fresh when they eat it instead of having a ‘leftover experience’ where they are microwaving a meal.  They can also freeze it if they choose and bake at a later date which is a nice option to have.
  • Plant the seed: you are already obsessed with the baby and can’t wait to meet them!What do I mean by ‘plant the seed’? I mean put the ball in their court.  Let mama know you are looking forward to meeting the baby and are ready to stop by whenever she is ready for you!  Some people may offer for you to come to the hospital while others may wait until the baby has been home for a few weeks.  Everyone is different and it’s so important to be respectful of what mama wants and needs during this time!
  • Keep your visit shortThis one can be tough for a lot of people. My rule of thumb is around 30 – 45 minutes.  Yes, that may sound extreme but that’s just what I appreciated personally.  As a new mom, I was SO tired, learning how to breastfeed, and overwhelmed.  The last thing that a person wants to do when feeling this way is entertain company.
  • Offer to give mama a break during visitI know what you’re going to say… “but, I’m dying to hear every single gory detail of the birth story!”. While it’s possible that mama is craving adult interaction and wants to share all about baby’s glorious entrance into the world, it’s possible too that she’s dying to take a shower.  Offer to hold the baby and tell her to take a little break if she wants!
  • If they have another kid (or kids) offer to watch themWhen there are other kiddos running around, I can only imagine how difficult it is to keep up with them while simultaneously taking care of a newborn! Put an offer out there to take the kids for an afternoon so that mama can enjoy just snuggling the baby aka sleep.

Now mamas with newborns, this part is for you.  Accept the help!  I really struggled with this when I had Jonas at first because I didn’t want to appear weak but holy cow, I NEEDED help!

Is there anything that you found to be particularly helpful as a mama of a newborn?!

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6 Comments

  1. Angela K

    I always LOVE when people automatically wash their hands! Even if you’re not sick, it just makes the mama feel better.

    • Hallie Bain

      I second that! 🙂 One that a surprising amount of people never think of. No one wants to be “that mom” and ask guests themself.

    • stollette

      Such a good one, Ang! It’s so true that it makes mama feel more comfortable!

  2. This is a great post with some super helpful info! We were so blessed with help and support from friends and family when the twins were born. One of the best days that I remember is when we returned home from a long day at the hospital and found a cooler on our porch that a friend had dropped off. Not only did we have an easy meal to make, but also a reminder of the amazing support system we had!

    • stollette

      Thank you so much, Alex! I love the story you shared. I can’t even imagine how supported you must have felt with that simple surprise! We need our support system especially in those early days filled with sleepless nights!

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